Birthday Blues
I have just read over this and it's a load of self-pitying nonsense (just thought I'd tell you that before you start reading ...)
I know that as things go this is pretty trivial but it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't help feeling a bit sorry for myself. OK, I know I'm getting too old to expect anything special from my birthday. I'll have had 23 of them by this time tomorrow and everyone has birthdays it's nothing of any great significance! It's just this year the whole thing is making me feel quite homesick. Primarily because (for those of you who don't know) my Dad's birthday is today and I also share my birthday tomorrow with my brother and he's 18 this year. I can't believe I'm missing my brother's 18th birthday and giving him a flash present doesn't make up for the fact I'm not there. I know he hasn't got anything too special planned but that's besides the point!
I wish I was at home and I could go for a nice Sunday lunch somewhere with my family this weekend. I wish today I was at home getting excited for tomorrow night; planning what to wear, drink, eat etc instead I'm sat in the teacher's room being gradually intoxicated by the kerosene heater and putting off all the planning I need to do. Tomorrow when I could be having dinner with my family or friends and spending the night dancing in the Page, I'll be teaching kids half the evening instead :(
I'm being stupidly idealistic, in reality if I was at home then I'd be eating Sunday lunch alone - my brother is actually away for the weekend on an orientation and my parents are going to Manchester. I wouldn't be going out into town with all my friends tomorrow night because hardly anyone actually lives in Carlisle anymore and to be honest it's about 6 years since we last went out for dinner and then stumbled along to the Page for my birthday anyway.
Despite knowing all this though ...... I so wish I was in Carlisle this week at least I'd get to see my brother on his 18th birthday and I'm sure I could have dragged Sue and Kate out to the Page tomorrow night!
I know that as things go this is pretty trivial but it's my birthday tomorrow and I can't help feeling a bit sorry for myself. OK, I know I'm getting too old to expect anything special from my birthday. I'll have had 23 of them by this time tomorrow and everyone has birthdays it's nothing of any great significance! It's just this year the whole thing is making me feel quite homesick. Primarily because (for those of you who don't know) my Dad's birthday is today and I also share my birthday tomorrow with my brother and he's 18 this year. I can't believe I'm missing my brother's 18th birthday and giving him a flash present doesn't make up for the fact I'm not there. I know he hasn't got anything too special planned but that's besides the point!
I wish I was at home and I could go for a nice Sunday lunch somewhere with my family this weekend. I wish today I was at home getting excited for tomorrow night; planning what to wear, drink, eat etc instead I'm sat in the teacher's room being gradually intoxicated by the kerosene heater and putting off all the planning I need to do. Tomorrow when I could be having dinner with my family or friends and spending the night dancing in the Page, I'll be teaching kids half the evening instead :(
I'm being stupidly idealistic, in reality if I was at home then I'd be eating Sunday lunch alone - my brother is actually away for the weekend on an orientation and my parents are going to Manchester. I wouldn't be going out into town with all my friends tomorrow night because hardly anyone actually lives in Carlisle anymore and to be honest it's about 6 years since we last went out for dinner and then stumbled along to the Page for my birthday anyway.
Despite knowing all this though ...... I so wish I was in Carlisle this week at least I'd get to see my brother on his 18th birthday and I'm sure I could have dragged Sue and Kate out to the Page tomorrow night!
posted by Helen at
4:57 am
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